Chapter 11

Hee Chul was the first to burst out laughing, and the rest of the guys followed.

“What’s going on?” I said. I was lost.

“Do you know that the both of you are so adorable?” Ee Teuk said as he came up to us, laughing.

“What are you talking about?” I said.

“We've suspected for awhile that the both of you had something going on,” he explained.

“Si Won,” Han Kyung said as he glared at him.

“I didn’t say anything,” Si Won quickly defended himself. “They knew, and even when they discussed it, I just kept to myself,” he added.

“Yah!” Dong Hae yelled and smacked Si Won. “How could you keep this from us?”

“I had to. Or hyung would’ve killed me,” he laughed.

“Don’t worry,” Eun Hyuk said as he patted my shoulder. “We’ll keep this from the management.”

“Yea, don’t worry,” Sung Min piped in.

“So do we get to hear your story now?” Ryeo Wook asked.

“What story?” I said.

“How you both met, duh…” Hee Chul said.

I kept silent and looked around the room. All 11 guys looked on expectantly, waiting for Han Kyung and me to tell our story. Was it right? Should we really come clean? Before I could say anything, Han Kyung walked up beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.

“We went to the same school,” he said, and the guys started to chatter excitedly.

“Yah… so did you plan to come here and meet hyung?” Ye Sung asked.

“Did you know she was coming?” Ryeo Wook asked.

We spent part of the afternoon telling the guys everything. How we’d been in the same school, lived in the same hostel, how Han Kyung had left and how Fate had arranged for me to meet him here again.

“Honestly,” Eun Hyuk said. “You guys did a great job hiding your relationship.”

“Then how did you guys find out?” I asked him.

“Shin Dong was the one who suspected you were dating someone, since you told him you had no one. He didn’t believe you,” Eun Hyuk said.

“Shin Dong!” I exclaimed. “How could you?”

“You were lying, and I was nosy,” he laughed.

“And then, Han Kyung started disappearing every night,” Hee Chul said. “So we kinda pieced it together, and one day, we decided to trail him, just for the fun of it.”

“It was just 2 of us,” Ki Bum said. “We know of the risks of fans trailing us while we trailed hyung.”

“You guys are nuts,” I smiled.

“Then we found out that he was visiting you,” Hee Chul said.

“At first we thought that maybe he just wanted to meet you since you guys had a lot in common,” Ki Bum said. “But then, why the secrecy?”

“Yea… then we caught him staring at you while shooting ‘Show Me Your Love’,” Ye Sung laughed.

“See!” I said, and I smacked Han Kyung. “I told you someone would notice.”

“Aaah…” Han Kyung exclaimed and rubbed his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me they were onto us?” Han Kyung asked as he turned to Si Won and smacked him.

“I didn’t think there was any harm of them knowing, since I noticed that your relationship with nuna was pretty stable,” Si Won replied as he too rubbed his arm.

“He didn’t say anything,” Ki Bum said. “We found out on our own.”

“So what do you guys plan to do?” Kang In asked.

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Huh?” some of them exclaimed.

“You guys have just debuted. I don’t want to kill your careers, especially Han Kyung’s. That’s why we didn’t say anything.”

“You really think the fans would mind that he has a girlfriend?” Sung Min asked.

“Even if they didn’t, it’s because they love him, and they will kill me,” I laughed.

“That’s not funny,” Han Kyung said.

“I think the first person to get upset would be our manager,” Ee Teuk said. “You guys had better continue being discreet.”

“You hear that?” I said as I turned to Han Kyung.

“Araso,” he mumbled.

“Hey… let’s get back to work,” Shin Dong said as he got up.

“Shiro… I wanna hear more,” Hee Chul whined.

“Get up, hyung,” Ki Bum laughed.

And we carried on with our practice session.

A few months later, there was an unexpected change to Super Junior. The management decided to add a new member to the group, who will be debuting in Super Junior’s upcoming single, U.

“This is Cho Kyu Hyun,” their manager introduced to me, and Kyu Hyun bowed.

“Pangapseumnida,” I smiled. “I’m Sierra.”

With the addition of Kyu Hyun, Han Kyung and I no longer had the freedom to be a couple during the rehearsals. Then again, we pretty much just dance during rehearsals, and we barely have time to play around. Since we didn’t know Kyu Hyun well, we decided that we couldn’t allow him to know about us until we could trust him.

“Do you know what Kyu Hyun asked Sung Min today?” Han Kyung said, one night, at my apartment.

“What?”

“He asked if you and Hee Chul were dating,” Han Kyung laughed.

“Why would he think that?”

“Cos you and Hee Chul are always chatting and gossiping and sitting really close to each other,” he said.

“We are?”

“Shi de,” he said.

“Ni chi chu ya?” I smiled.

“Why would I be jealous?” he huffed.

“Aa… mianhae,” I teased as I pinched his cheek.

“What?” he said.

“I won’t do it again,” I smiled.

“I’m not jealous,” he exclaimed.

“Okay, okay, you’re not,” I laughed, and he growled at me.

“I’m really okay with you and Hee Chul being close,” he said.

“Why? Are you planning to give me to him?”

“He wouldn’t want you,” he laughed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He likes someone else.”

“He does? Who?”

“Bu yao gao su ni,” he said in a singsong voice.

“Wei shen me?” I wailed.

“Cos you’ll blab,” he said.

“No, I won’t!” I gasped. How can you even accuse me of being a blabber? You’re the blabber.”

“No, I’m not, you are,” he said, and we spent the rest of the night arguing and teasing each other over everything we could think of.

Come to think of it, I was very close to Hee Chul. I guess it’s because we’re more of the same age group, but he sure doesn’t feel older than I am. He was the craziest guy I’ve ever met. His face was always the topic of jests. Because he had such fine and feminine features, they loved to make him the girl when they had role playing games. I wonder if Hee Chul ever minded. I guess not, since he always spontaneously took up the role whenever they goofed around. This was especially obvious when they were filming Super Junior Full House.

I’ve only met Anya and Eva on several occasions because they happened to appear at events where I was there to supervise Super Junior’s routines.

“Nuna,” Kang In had brought them to me to introduce us to each other. “This is Anya and Eva, our co-stars in Super Junior Full House.”

“Annyeong haseyo,” they both said and bowed slightly.

“Nice to meet you,” I said in English, and smiled when their eyes became as large as saucers.

“Oh… yong-o!” Anya said.

“Nae,” I replied.

“You speak English?” Eva asked me.

“I do. I’m not Korean,” I explained.

“Oh…” the both of them chorused.

“Nuna is our choreographer. She’s from Malaysia, but graduated from the Beijing Dance Academy.”

“Isn’t that the same academy Han Kyung went to?” Eva remarked.

“Erm… It is,” I said.

“Did you know him from back then?”

I looked at Kang In and he just shrugged. He didn’t know if we could tell them the truth either.

“We weren’t close, and he left the academy for Korea before I graduated,” I lied.

“I see,” Eva said.

“Well it’s nice meeting you. I need to go check on some stuff,” I excused myself.

“Of course. We’ll talk to you some other time,” Anya said.

“Annyeong,” I smiled and waved, then walked off.

Chinese Notes:

Shi de.
Yes.

Ni chi chu ya?
Are you jealous?

Bu yao gao su ni.
I’m not gonna tell you.

Wei shen me?
Why not?

Please hold...

Dear Readers,

After careful consideration, I have decided to hit the 'Pause' button on this fiction at Chapter 10 (my latest chapter). I feel that I do not know enough about Super Junior to continue writing this fiction. Hence, I will be taking a short break where I will attempt to finish writing Helpless, one of my running fictions, and to read up on our 13 delightful boys.

I think it is vital for me to do proper research on my characters so that I can continue bringing all of you my best works. So please bear with me for I feel like I'm not writing from my heart when I do not know my characters well enough.

I will be sure to contact you once I start posting from Chapter 11. Please drop me an email if you wish to be notified.

Thank you for your support thus far ^^ Please continue to support my fictions!!!

-Sierra-

Chapter 10

“What’s wrong?” I asked as soon as Han Kyung walked through my door.

He looked tired and somewhat upset.

“I made a fool of myself today,” he grumbled.

“How?” I asked him, and he started to tell me everything.

He’d just come back from filming an episode of the game show, Love Letter.

“Ho Dong hyung wanted me to introduce the game in Chinese, and I flubbed it. I couldn’t remember my Chinese.”

“How?”

“He has this part where he says ‘Chunbi toessoyo?’, and he goes like ‘Chun, chun, chun, chun’ before he says it. I was thinking that the ‘chun’ was just a Korean expression.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t think that the ‘chun’ was part of ‘chunbi’, and I just copied him when I was supposed to say it in Chinese. And he was like, ‘Say it in Chinese,’, and I told him there wasn’t such an expression in Chinese.”

Just then, I understood what his mistake was and I laughed.

“It’s not funny,” he said. “I was so embarrassed. I realized only after the show that the ‘chun’ was equivalent to the Chinese ‘zhun’ from ‘zhun bei’. Dammit!”

“So you could’ve gone like ‘zhun, zhun, zhun, zhun’?” I laughed.

“Yea,” he smiled a little.

“Show me how he did it,” I asked.

“No,”

“Come on,” I said.

“Bu yao,” he said adamantly.

“Lai ba,” I pleaded. “Bie zhe yang…”

“Bu yao…” he whined.

“Lai ba…” I pleaded again, and he gave a loud sigh.

“Chun, chun, chun, chun, chunbi toessoyo…” he went, and I fell off the bed laughing hysterically.

“Tian ya…” I exclaimed. “It’s so funny…”

“Sure… laugh at me,” he said, trying to look upset, but his lips were twitching as he tried to control his laughter.

“When will this episode be broadcasted?” I asked him. “I must watch it.”

“I’m not telling you,” he said.

“Then I’ll ask Hee Chul. He was with you, wasn’t he?” I smirked.

“Don’t ask him!” he exclaimed.

“I’m gonna ask him,” I said in a sing-song voice.

“If you ask him, wo bu hui fang guo ni,” he said in a serious tone.

“What are you gonna do to me?” I said as I planted my hands on my hips.

“This,” he said, and he rushed at me and tackled me onto my bed.

“Yah… shen jing bing!” I yelled as I giggled.

“Shi de. Wo you mao bing,” he laughed, and he kissed me lightly on the lips.

“Don’t kiss me! I don’t want to be infected.”

“You already are,” he said, and he gave an evil laugh.

“You really are sick,” I smiled.

“And it’s all your fault,” he said, and he buried his face in my neck.

“Ni zai gan ma?” I giggled as he nuzzled my neck.

“I’m gonna eat you up, chi diao ni,” he murmured.

“Aaah,” I squealed. “Bu yao…” I giggled.

“Ni mei xuan ze,” he said in his mock-sinister tone.

I sighed with pleasure, as he continued doing what he did. Times like this made all our secrecy feel that it was worth it. But there were times when the secrecy made things hard to bear.

We were training the next day, when Hee Chul made a remark to Han Kyung.

“Ya… how about that Ayumi, I think she likes you,” he said as he patted Han Kyung on the back.
“It was just for the benefit of the show,” Han Kyung replied nervously, since I was around.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Han Kyung got real cosy with Ayumi during the recording yesterday,” Hee Chul said.

“Shuddup Hee Chul,” Han Kyung said, his face turning red.

“What?” Hee Chul said, looking confused.

We’d still not told any of the guys about us. I guess it’s understandable for Hee Chul to tease Han Kyung about yesterday’s recording, but it made me wonder how close Han Kyung had gotten to Ayumi.

“There’s nothing between us,” Han Kyung said, probably for my benefit.

“But she chose you twice. Didn’t she choose you during the last recording of Love Letter as well.”

“There was no one else, I guess,” he said.

“Ya… don’t be coy now,” Hee Chul teased.

“Hyung, stop it,” Si Won cut in.

“Huh?” Hee Chul exclaimed, puzzled that now Si Won was also involved in the conversation.

“Keumanhae,” Si Won said.

“What’s with you guys today?” Hee Chul huffed, and he walked off.

Si Won looked back and forth between Han Kyung and I, sighed, and walked off.

“You’ve got some explaining to do later,” I said softly so that only Han Kyung could hear, and I too walked off.

We were training for the routine for Miracle. In huge contrast to the hard beats of TWINS, Miracle was a light and fluffy song, and the guys had lots of fun dancing to it. It was scheduled for release late 2005, and they had to juggle promoting Show Me Your Love while preparing for the release of this new MV.

During our break, Han Kyung caught up with me as I was on my way to the toilet.

“Sierra,” he said as he grabbed me by the arm.

“What?” I said, and I pulled my arm away. “Don’t do that,” I hissed. “Someone will see.”

“I don’t care,” he said as he grabbed both my arms this time, and pulled me close.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked him as I tried to free myself from his grasp.

“You have to believe me. There’s nothing going on between Ayumi and me,” he said.

“I didn’t say I didn’t believe you.”

“Then what’s up with the ‘You’ve got some explaining to do.’ statement?” he said.

“I just wanted to know exactly what happened; what was so juicy about the whole recording that Hee Chul got so excited.”

“Then don’t talk like that,” he said.

“Talk like what?”

“Like you doubt me.”

“Ni xiang tai duo le,” I said.

“You’re making this hard for me,” he said.

“How am I doing that? I’m not doing anything but waiting for you each night. What else am I doing?”

“You’re driving me mad. This is driving me mad. I’m going to tell the guys about us. I can’t hide it anymore,” he said.

He released me and started walking back to the studio.

“Don’t, Han Kyung,” I said as I chased after him.

Damn his long legs. He just had to walk briskly and I had to run to catch up. He burst into the studio room, stunning everyone in it, and by the time I ran up next to him, he’d said what he shouldn’t have.

“Sierra and I are dating,” he announced to the whole room.

“Han Kyung, are you crazy? Don’t listen to him,” I told the guys.

“Chintcha! We’re dating,” he said.

“Are you trying to get me killed?” I asked him. “You must hate me, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about? I’m not trying to get you killed. I just want us to stop pretending.”
“What’s there to pretend when there is nothing between us in the first place?” I tried to lie convincingly to try and salvage the situation.

“Stop it, Sierra. Stop talking like that,” he said.

“Erm, hyung…” Si Won said, as he tapped on Han Kyung shoulder.

“What?” we both yelled together, startling Si Won.

Only then did I notice that the guys were staring at us, their lips twitching as if trying to control their laughter. Was the scene that Han Kyung and I just made so funny?


Chinese Notes:

Zhun bei.
Get ready.

Lai ba…
Come on…

Tian ya…
Gawd… (God…)

Bie zhe yang…
Don’t be like that…

Wo bu hui fang guo ni.
I won’t let you off.

Shen jing bing.
Crazy.

Shi de. Wo you mao bing.
Yes, that's right. I have a disease / I’m sick

Ni zai gan ma?
What are you doing?

Chi diao ni.
(I'll) Eat you up.

Ni mei xuan ze.
You have no choice.

Ni xiang tai duo le.
You think too much.

Chapter 9

“Nuna,” Kang In called out to me.

“What?”

“How do you do that turn and that arm movement again?”

“You’re doing it already. You just got the timing wrong. Move forward on 1, turn on two, arms out and move it like this, 3 and 4,” I counted as I demonstrated.

“Oh… I see,” he smiled, and he repeated that part of the routine for me, perfectly.

“Hey guys… get on the set,” Shin Dong yelled.

We were filming the MV for ‘Show Me Your Love’ today. ‘Show Me Your Love’ was the title track for Super Junior’s collaboration with TVXQ, their label mate and currently the top band in Korea. This was the first time I had the chance to meet TVXQ. In the past, we’d bumped into each other when I traveled around with Super Junior, but this time, I was properly introduced.

“Nuna,” Dong Hae said, “This is Yun Ho, Yoo Chun, Jun Su, Chang Min and Jae Joong.”

“Annyeong,” Yun Ho smiled.

“Annyeong,” I said.

“You guys have to call her nuna,” Dong Hae said.

“You’re older than us?” Yoo Chun said. “You don’t look like you are.”

“Komawo,” I smiled.

“Yah… Yoo Chun…” Jun Su exclaimed. “Don’t start putting your charms on her. You’re such a flirt.”

“I’m just being friendly,” Yoo Chun defended himself.

“Yea… right,” Jun Su teased.

“I am!” Yoo Chun insisted.

“It’s alright,” I laughed. “I get that from the guys every day.”

“I can imagine your frustration,” Yun Ho laughed.

“Where are you from, nuna?” Chang Min asked me.

“I’m Malaysian.”

“Oh!! Chintchayo?” Chang Min exclaimed.

“I heard we might have a concert tour there next year,” Jae Joong said.

“That’s nice,” I smiled.

“It’s still not confirmed. We’ll need to hear the final word from the management before we can say for sure,” Jae Joong added.

“I want to go traveling,” Jun Su said.

“Is the weather in Malaysia as hot as in Korea during the summer?” Yun Ho asked me.

“It’s hot all year round in Malaysia,” I said.

“That’s nice,” Jun Su said. “I wanna go to the beach when I get there.”

“It really depends on which city you’re going to. You’ll be far from the beach if you’re in Kuala Lumpur, the capital city.”

“Really? Aww…” Jun Su said.

I watched from afar as the guys sang and danced for the camera. We’d done the outdoor filming for the video last week. This week was the indoor setting, mainly for the introduction of the song. During one of their short breaks where the director was directing Hee Chul on what he had to do, I caught Han Kyung looking at me. I glared at him and mouthed for him to stop, because he was blatantly staring, and someone might notice. He just smiled and winked, and I had to laugh. I couldn’t get upset with him when he was being adorable. Up till now, only Si Won knew about us, and we did not intend to tell the rest yet. I wondered if they’d caught on by now. If they had, they’re putting on a good show, pretending not to know.

Once, while we were mapping out some choreography together, Shin Dong asked me some probing questions.

“Nuna,” he said. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Huh? Why do you ask?” I looked at him, puzzled.

“I just wonder what you do each day when you get home, especially when you’re not with us. Don’t you get bored?”

“No,” I smiled. “You guys put enough on my mind to entertain me until I go to bed.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said. “I’m sure you bring some guy home every night,” he teased.

“Do I look like that sort of girl to you?” I said as I planted my hands on my hips.

“But don’t you get lonely?”

“I have 12 good looking guys whom I see each day,” I laughed. “Why would I be lonely?”

“Have you dated before, nuna? You’re seriously scaring me. You really don’t have a life besides us?”

“I dated a long time ago… and I haven’t gotten over him,” I smiled. I was telling the truth. I was so not over Han Kyung yet.

Han Kyung had been coming over to my place whenever he could, since the day of our ‘reunion’. We’d eat together, talk, watch the television and once or twice, we went out to watch a movie. Since his debut, we limited our activities to the walls of my apartment. We didn’t even dare to drop by the nearby convenience stores or ramen shops, together, in case someone spotted him. Then there was the fear of him being trailed by fans.

“I can’t stand this,” he said, one day. “I’m sick of us hiding.”

“You’ve just debuted. We can’t just walk out of here hand in hand. Do you want me dead?”

“Do I even have that many fans? Let alone crazy fans.”

“You know better than me,” I said, and he sighed.

“How long do we need to keep this up?” he said.

“Until the time is right,” I said, and I reach out my hand to stroke his cheek. “Bu yao zhe yang,” I said softly.

“You think I want to be?” he said as he pulled me into his arms to hug me tightly.

“Wo zhi dao…” I said as I tightened my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. “Let’s not think about it. The most important thing is that we are together.”

“I guess,” he sighed. “Wo ai ni,” he said, as he kissed the top of my head.

“Ai si ni,” I said, as I looked up and smiled at him, and he smiled back.

I pulled him down until his lips were just a millimeter away. His lips were slightly parted, and I could feel his breath against my lips. I licked his lips lightly, with the tip of my tongue, and then I kissed him for real.

“You’re really improving,” he said, as he breathed a little heavier than normal.

We’d been kissing like crazy for the past few minutes. For some reason, I felt like being wild and passionate, and he’d reciprocated in whatever manner I’d initiated.

“We’re not 18 or 19 anymore,” I smiled. “You still want those innocent little kisses?”

“It’s nice sometimes, but I definitely don’t mind this new style we have,” he grinned as his hands caressed my hips lightly.

“Watch where you put your hands,” I warned him, as I giggled.

“I know where I’m putting them,” he said softly.

“Pyeont’ae,” I said.

“Who taught you that?” he asked me.

“It’s an essential word to learn. I didn’t need anyone to teach me.”

“It must’ve been Kang In or Hee Chul,” he laughed.

“Whatever you say,” I sighed, as his hands continued to move across my thighs, and back up till my waist.

“You like that?” he asked, as his lips came to nibble my neck lightly.

“Nomu choa,” I replied.

“You drive me crazy when you speak Korean,” he murmured against my neck.

“Then would you prefer to date a Korean girl?” I asked him.

“I want a Chinese girl who speaks Korean,” he replied as he continued working his magic on me.

“Then you’ve got what you wanted,” I smiled.

Chinese Notes:

Bu yao zhe yang.
Don’t be like that.

Wo zhi dao…
I know…

Ai si ni.
(I) love you to death.

Chapter 8

“Erm… Si Won,” Han Kyung mumbled again.

“What’s going on? Did you guys used to know each other or something?” Si Won asked.

I looked at Han Geng, and he looked back at me. Could we trust Si Won to keep the secret?

“It’s complicated,” I told Si Won.

“Try me,” he said, as he folded his arms at his chest.

“Yes, we knew each other. But I had no idea that she'd joined SM until I walked into the studio today,” Han Geng said in one go.

“So you guys used to date?’ Si Won asked. Han Geng and I just nodded.

“Are you gonna tell your manager?” I asked him.

“Of course not,” he smiled. “So are you guys back together now?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” I asked Si Won.

“Han Kyung has always seemed a little lonely. I can see why now. Turns out he was missing you all along,” he winked.

“Si Won, just tell them that I’ll be out in a moment. Make some excuse for me,” Han Geng said.

“No problem,” and he turned to leave.

“Si Won,” Han Geng called out just before he walked out.

“Wae?” he said as he turned around.

“Can you keep this to yourself for now?”

“Sure,” Si Won replied.

“Sierra and I still have some unfinished discussions. I’ll talk to the other guys once Sierra and I have resolved our problems.”

“Okay,” he said. “Bye Sierra,” he waved before walking out.

“Can we trust Si Won?” I asked Han Geng.

“He’s my closest friend. We can trust him.”

“You should go now, before anyone gets suspicious,” I said.

“I don’t feel like leaving.”

“You must,” I insisted.

“Where are you living? I’ll come see you tonight.”

I dug through my bag for a piece of paper and wrote down my address for him.

“Hmm… I’m not sure exactly where this is,” he laughed.

“It’s about half an hour from here,” I said.

“It’s alright. I’ll ask Si Won or one of the guys,” he said.

“Go now,” I urged him. “I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

“Alright,” he smiled. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said and he kissed my forehead.

“Kuai chu ba,” I said as I pushed him out of the studio.

“Sierra,” he popped his head in at the door just as I turned around to pick up my bag.

“Yes?”

“I love your new hairstyle,” he smiled.

“Really?” I smiled, as I touched my hair consciously.

“Yes,” he said. “I’ve always thought that you’d look hotter with short hair.”

“Thanks.”

“Bye…” he waved, and he disappeared.

When I walked out of the building, I realized that it was still early. I had almost half a day ahead of me. I walked back in and asked the receptionist for directions to the nearest supermarket near my place. After she’d drawn me a map with directions, I walked out and hailed a taxi. Starting from tomorrow, I should probably start using public transportation. I don’t think my salary can support daily taxi rides.

2 hours later, I struggled to open the door of my apartment while holding a few bags of groceries. I stumbled into my apartment with the bags and after dumping them on the kitchen floor, I walked over and collapsed onto my bed. Han Geng hadn’t said if he was coming for dinner. He’d probably have dinner before he came. I should probably stop calling him Han Geng since no one calls him that here.

I was eating my bowl of ramen when my doorbell buzzed. I peered into the peephole and saw that it was Han Kyung.

“Hi,” I smiled as I opened the door.

“Hi,” he smiled back.

“Erm… come in,” I said as I stepped aside so that he could walk in the door.

I couldn’t understand why I was feeling nervous. He was just here to talk, or do whatever. Why did it feel like the first time I saw him, the first time he kissed me, the first time he told me he loved me?

“Nice place,” he said as he looked around.

“Xie xie,” I smiled.

“You’re eating?” he asked as he spotted my bowl on ramen on the counter.

“Yea,” I said. “Sit anywhere,” I laughed nervously. “I’m just gonna finish up and I’ll join you.”

“Man man chi,” he said. “I’ll be fine.”

I ate as fast as I could, washed my bowl and went to sit beside him on the floor in front of my bed. He was sitting on one of the throw pillows on the floor with his back leaning against the foot of my bed.

“Guo lai,” he said as he motioned for me to sit closer.

As I inched over, he put his arm around me and pulled me so close that I was almost sitting on his lap.

“What are you doing?” I said, almost in a whisper.

“What I’ve always done,” he whispered back and he kissed me.

Sometime later, we lay on my bed; my head on his chest and he had one arm around me.

“How’s it gonna be from now on?” I asked him as my hand traced the motive printed on his t-shirt.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re just gonna be quiet about us? And you’re gonna keep coming to visit me like this?”

“I guess,” he sighed.

“I feel like somebody’s mistress,” I laughed.

“When the time is right, we don’t need to hide anymore,” he said.

“You mean when you retire?”

“I won’t wait that long. I plan to start a family within the next 10 years.”

“Good luck finding a wife,” I said.

“I’ve found her,” he said.

“Who?”

“You.”

“You want me to die?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your fans will murder me,” I said.

“No they won’t.”

“Wanna bet?”

“I’ll protect you,” he said.

“And when you’re not there?”

“You’re always gonna be beside me. We’re working together, aren’t we?”

“Hopefully… the industry is ever-changing. I might even be replaced tomorrow if I’m not good enough for SM.”

“You have a 2 year contract. They will keep you for 2 years.”

“And after 2 years?”

“They will decide if they want to extend it or not.”

“Probably not,” I smiled.

“Then you can change your job. You can be my PA or coordinator.”

“We’ll see… you’re asking someone who suffered 5 years in the academy to forget all her dance training and become a PA? You’re crazy.”

“You really love dancing, huh?”

“Sure I do. Otherwise, do you think I’d have survived at the academy?”

“Yea… it figures,” he said, as he played with my hair. “I still can’t get over seeing you after so long.”

“Same here,” I said.

“I missed you,” he said.

“Same here.”

“Is that all you can say?”

“What can I say?”

“Something nicer?”

“Like… ‘You’re so good looking now.’?”

“That could work,” he laughed.

“I didn’t know you were so egoistic,” I laughed.

“Only with you… your approval matters most to me,” he said.

“Why?”

“Ying wei wo ai ni,” he said, matter-of-factly.

I looked into his eyes, and my fingers came to brush his lips, lightly.

“Same here,” I smiled.

I was finally November; November 6th to be exact. We were backstage on the set of Inki Gayo. Tonight will be Super Junior’s debut performance. Sure they have debuted individually in dramas, movies and in Han Kyung’s case, on the runway, but this was their official debut performance as the 12 person band, Super Junior. The guys were a little nervous, most of them practicing their moves and stuff, up till the last minute of time they had before it was their turn to perform.

“Nervous?” I asked Han Kyung.

“Not really.”

“You’re so brave,” I teased.

“Cos you’re here,” he smiled.

“I don’t think me being here helps much,” I said.

“Well… the guys don’t think that way. They think that you’ve helped a lot while Bum Su hyung is not around.”

“Han Kyung!” Ee Teuk called out. It was time for them to get to the stage.

“Jia you,” I smiled as he turned to walk away.

“See you later,” he said and he gave me a little wave.

I watched from the side as they positioned themselves. The intro of TWINS (Knock Out) played, and they started to move. There was an air of superiority and greatness about them on that day, and they gave a smashing performance. From that day onwards, Super Junior became known to Korea, and their popularity just kept soaring.

Chinese Notes:

Kuai chu ba.
Go quickly.

Xie xie.
Thanks.

Man man chi.
Eat slowly. (Take your time to eat.)

Guo lai.
Come here.

Ying wei wo ai ni.
Because I love you.

Jia you.
Go get ‘em. (or equivalent to the Koreans’ p’ait’ing [파이팅])

Chapter 7

I watched as Han Geng, snapped out of his state of shock. He bowed a little and greeted me.

“Han Kyung-imnida. Pangapseumnida,” he said.

“So where are you from, nuna?” Dong Hae asked. “You are older than us, aren’t you?” he asked.

“She looks like our age, Dong Hae,” Ki Bum said. “How old are you, Sierra?”

“I’m almost 22,” I smiled.

“Almost?” Ee Teuk asked. “So when’s your birthday?”

“December,” I replied.

“Yah! I’m older than you,” Hee Chul exclaimed.

“So am I,” Ee Teuk said.

“Then I guess the rest of us will have to call you nuna,” Kang In said.

“You haven’t answered my question, nuna,” Dong Hae waved at me.

“What was it?” I asked him.

“Where are you from?”

“The last place I lived in was China. I’m originally from Malaysia.”

“Yah! Han Kyung, China! Did you hear?” Eun Hyuk exclaimed.

“Which part?” Ryeo Wook asked.

“I studied for 5 years in Beijing.”

“Yah! Beijing!” Sung Min exclaimed. “Aren’t you from Beijing too?” he turned to look at Han Geng.

“I’m going to the loo,” Han Geng mumbled and walked out.

“What’s up with him?” Kang In remarked and the rest of them just shrugged.

“Let’s get to work,” I said. “Shin Dong,” I waved him over.

“Yes?’ he asked me.

“I’ll need your help since I’m not familiar with the choreography yet. Bum Su oppa said that you were the one I should refer to.”

“He did?” Shin Dong beamed. “Okay.”

One hour into our training, Han Geng reappeared.

“That was a long toilet break you took,” Sung Min commented.

“I wasn’t feeling well,” Han Geng said.

“Do you want to see a doctor?” Ee Teuk asked him.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Let’s do this.”

We spent another 4 hours perfecting their almost complete routine. They were all accomplished dancers, and Bum Su oppa had pretty much covered everything before his accident. All I had to do was to watch them and make sure they were in sync.

“See you tomorrow, nuna,” Ye Sung smiled as he waved at me.

“Byee…” Hee Chul said as he walked out.

“Bye guys,” I smiled and waved as the rest of them said goodbye and filed out of the studio.

I’d started to pack up the files and CDs when I realized there was someone behind me. I didn’t need to turn around to know it was Han Geng.

“Zui jin hao ma?” he asked me. I turned around to look at him. He didn’t look upset. He actually looked concerned.

“I’m fine,” I replied, and turned around to continue packing.

“Why didn't you tell me that you were coming?” he asked me.

“Xu yao ma?” I asked him. “Do I need to tell you anything when you’ve told me nothing?”

“That’s my fault,” he sighed. “I didn’t think you’d want to know.”

“It was just coincidence that I got a job here. I didn’t even know I would be working for SM until I arrived at the door.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” he said.

“You sounded as if I were stalking you. I didn’t even know Super Junior existed until yesterday. And I definitely did not know that you were a member of Super Junior.”

“Dui bu qi,” he said. “I should’ve kept in touch.”

“It’s fine. We’d made a pact to forget each other,” I said dismissively.

“But I have not forgotten,” he said.

“Huh?”

“Did you think I was such a person? That I forgot everything that happened in the past once I had a new life?”

“I didn’t say…”

“You’re implying,” he said.

“Fine. I was.”

“I missed you,” he said.

“I…” I started, then I bit my lip. Should I tell him how I really feel? Wouldn’t it be better to put this behind us now that we had to actually work together?

“You what?” he said.

“Nothing,” I said. “I need to go,” I said as I picked up my bag.

“Wait,” he said, and he grabbed my hand as I was about to walk away.

“Han Geng, or is it Han Kyung now?” I said. “I’m your trainer now. And that was the past. We need to focus on our careers now. I don’t want our past to mess up our futures.”

“Why should it mess up our futures?” he asked me. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to appear here, in front of me?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, not looking at him.

“I went back to Beijing a few months back, and I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“I’d graduated. You forgot?”

“I didn’t.”

“And you thought I’d just stay in Beijing and wait for you?” I asked him.

“I’d hoped.”

“Did you think that I had no life? I had to earn a living you know,” I said sternly.

“Don’t get angry now,” he said softly. “You’ll get wrinkles.”

He hadn’t changed. He still said those little things that he knew would quell my anger. He still knew how to push my buttons. I hated how he had such control over me.

“I really need to go,” I said as I tried to push past him.

“Bie zou,” he said, as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I just stayed in his arms, reliving the sense of familiarity, inhaling his scent, taking comfort in his warmth. All those months of missing him; had they come to an end? Could we get back together just like that?

“Han Geng,” I said, as I tried to push him away.

“Wo bu hui zai rang ni zou,” he said as he hugged me tightly.

“It’s pointless,” I said sadly. “There’s no way we can be together.”

“Wei shen me?” he said fiercely. “Why not? Wo bu guan.”

“You can’t ignore it. It’ll be tough. You’re debuting soon. You think the management is gonna love the fact that you have a girlfriend. You think girls are going to get excited about you when you already have a girlfriend.”

“There are 11 others for them to get excited over.”

“And you’d have lost your value to the company. Why would they still need you in the band?”

“Sierra,” he said pleadingly.

“Bie zai shuo le,” I pleaded in return.

“Wo ai ni,” he said, and he pulled me toward him to kiss me. I felt tears stream down my cheeks as he kissed me. I was so frustrated, and yet I missed him so much. I wanted to just hold on to him and never let go.

“Bie ku,” he said as he kissed my tears away.

“How can I not cry? I’m so frustrated. I’m going mad,” I said as the tears continued flowing.

“I’ll find a way,” he said. “I’ll find a way for us to be together.”

“I don’t want us to lose our jobs,” I said.

“We won’t,” he sighed as he pulled me back into his arms and hugged me tightly. “Just promise me you’ll stay with me from now on.”

“But can you promise that you would stay with me?” I asked him.

“Yes, I promise. I’m still the same Han Geng. Believe me,” he said, and he kissed me again.

“Hyung, we’re leaving!” someone yelled as he walked into the studio. It was Si Won.

Han Geng and I jumped apart in shock, but not in time to avoid letting him see us in each other’s arms.

“Erm…” Han Geng mumbled.

“What’s going on?” Si Won asked as he looked back and forth between the two of us.

I looked at Han Geng wearily and wondered how we were going to explain ourselves to Si Won.

Chinese Notes:

Zui jin hao ma?
How have you been?

Xu yao ma?
Is it necessary?

Dui bu qi.
I’m sorry.

Bie zou.
Don’t go.

Wo bu hui zai rang ni zhou.
I will not let you leave anymore.

Wei shen me?
Why?

Wo bu guan.
I don’t care.

Bie zai shuo le.
Don’t say anymore.

Wo ai ni.
I love you.

Bie ku.
Don’t cry.

Chapter 6

“Sierra-shi, kwaench’ana?” the lady asked me. I must have looked pale or something, from the shock.

“Kwaench’ana,” I smiled. Was this a freaky coincidence, or was it simply fate? I’m about to sign a contract with the same company Han Geng was with. This was too surreal.

5 minutes later, I was sitting in the office of the Recruitment Manager, reading through the contract. It was a 2 year contract, the pay looked good, accommodations were provided and I had 16 days off each year. Medical was covered, so was dental; all in all, a pretty good package. I signed my name on the last page and was presented with another document.

“What’s this for?” I asked the manager.

“It’s a non-disclosure agreement.”

A non-disclosure agreement was an agreement where I’d have to agree to keep all company matters within the company. Company matters such as information of upcoming projects, plans and anything that would harm the company or benefit competitors if I revealed them. I glanced through quickly and signed it. There wasn’t much I could protest anyway. If I didn’t sign it, I wouldn’t get the job; simple as that.

“You’ll be taken to your accommodations,” he said as I got up to leave.

“Kamsahamnida,” I smiled.

“Welcome to the SM family,” he said.

SM had rented a 1 room studio apartment about half an hour away from SM’s offices for me. It was small, cozy and modern. Definitely better than what I was used to back in China. There was a twin sized bed, a wardrobe, a desk, a bar complete with high stools which served as a dining table, a little kitchen area, a bathroom and also a laundry room with a small washing machine. The rent for such an apartment would not be cheap since it came with so many amenities.

“We need to go to the hospital,” the lady said.

“The hospital?”

“The company requires that you undergo a medical examination, and after that, there is someone you need to meet.”

“Can I just have a minute to freshen up, then?” I asked her.

“Sure.”

I quickly unpacked my toiletries and walked into the bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and reapplied my makeup. As I did all that, I wondered who the person I needed to meet was. Was he in the hospital? I walked out 15 minutes later to find the lady patiently waiting.

“I’m ready,” I said, and we left the apartment.

I had to take a blood test, a urine test and a chest x-ray. All these were part of the basic medical examination. After my x-ray had been taken, the lady led me towards a ward.

“May I know who I’m meeting?” I asked her.

“The trainer you’re replacing,” she replied. I wonder what happened to him.

We walked in and there was a guy sitting up on a bed, with his leg in a cast.

“Bum Su-shi,” the lady said, “This is your replacement, Sierra.”

“Annyeonghaseyo,” I bowed.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I’ll just take a few minutes to update her,” he said and the lady walked out.

“Erm… what exactly happened to you, Bum Su-shi?” I asked him.

“Just call me oppa,” he smiled. “Skip the formalities.”

“Okay.”

“I was involved in a car accident, and I will not be able to be on my feet for the next 6 months. That’s why SM requested for you so urgently,” he said.

“I see.”

“Here,” he said as he handed me a file.

“What’s this?”

“These are notes of all the training and choreography I’ve done so far,” he said as I flipped through the file. “I’m currently training a 12 member band called Super Junior. You will see them tomorrow. Videos of all the choreography I’ve done are available in the training room. I suggest you take the time to watch them.”

“When will this band debut?”

“In November. You have a tough job ahead of you since you’ll need to choreograph their first video as well.”

“Wow… How do you even know what I can do it? And SM just hired me like that?”

“You came highly recommended,” he smiled.

I walked after the room after he was done briefing me and I collided into a guy’s chest.

“Choesonghamnida,” I said and I stepped aside to let him pass. As I did, I looked up, and I was startled when I saw who it was.

“Sierra?” Han Geng said, as he looked at me questioningly.

I turned and started walking off as fast as I could.

“Sierra!” I heard him call after me, and I broke into a run.

I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t ready to see him again, and I couldn’t trust myself to stay calm enough to talk to him. The past year without him was agonizing, and when I saw his face, I felt my heart aching. It just sort of stopped and then it started aching. I thought I’d gotten over him. I thought the pain had dulled inside me, but it hadn’t. The memories of us came rushing back to me, and I felt consumed and suffocated.

That night, I lay awake and stared into the darkness of my room. I was nervous about tomorrow’s training session with the band. At the same time, I was still thinking of Han Geng. His expression on his face earlier at the hospital mirrored mine. He was as shocked as I am. What was he doing there?

Fatigue finally got the better of me, and I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to the incessant ringing of my alarm. It took me a moment to remember that I was now in Korea. I stretched slowly in bed and rolled off onto the floor. In about an hour, I will be meeting Super Junior. I wonder if they’d accept me.

I stood in the training room nervously, while waiting for Super Junior to arrive. At about 9am, they started filing in. They were all taller than me, I cringed. How was I going to manage them?

“Omo!” a very slim and pretty guy exclaimed as he rubbed his eyes. “Hyung,” he nudged one of them. “Is that a girl? We have a girl trainer?”

“Don’t be rude, Hee Chul,” the guy said. “Annyeonghaseyo, Ee Teuk-imnida,” he bowed.

“I’m Hee Chul,” the pretty one said.

And soon all of them started introducing themselves; Kang In, Sung Min, Eun Hyuk, Ye Sung, Ki Bum, Ryeo Wook, Dong Hae, Si Won and Shin Dong. Bum Su oppa had told me to work closely with Shin Dong, since he had the most choreography inputs.

“Naneun Sierra-imnida, pangapseumnida. I will be your trainer and choreographer until Bum Su oppa is fit enough to rejoin us.”

As the guys whooped and cheered, I counted the number of the members present. There was one missing.

“Is there someone who isn’t here yet?” I asked.

“That would be Han Kyung,” Si Won said. “He’s running a little late today.”

“There he is,” Dong Hae exclaimed as a tall, slim figure walked in.

“Mian…” he said as he walked in, then he froze. I was frozen when I saw him too. Han Kyung turned out to be Han Geng, my Han Geng, from Beijing. No wonder the name had sounded familiar.

“Ah… she got to you too, didn’t she,” Hee Chul laughed and patted Han Geng on the back. “Pardon him, Sierra. He’s obviously never seen a pretty girl before.”

“Sierra?” Han Geng repeated.

“Nae, Sierra-imnida,” I said in as neutral a tone as I could muster. “Nice to meet you, Han Kyung.”