Chapter 3

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me closed as he kissed me. I’d intended to just stay there and try not to reciprocate, but I couldn’t control myself. Seeing him every day and being with him every day had made me realize that I had feelings for him too. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the kiss went on, the pain in my ankle forgotten… my boyfriend back home, forgotten. We pulled apart after awhile, panting. It was almost the end of summer, and it was still a little warm since it was about 5pm.

“Han Geng,” I said, my voice coming out in little gasps.

“Don’t say a word. I don’t want to hear anything about that boyfriend of yours.”

“I wasn’t going to talk about him.”

“Then what were you going to say?”

“I…” I paused. I’d almost admitted to him that I loved him. Was it the right time? Was it too soon?

“What is it?”

“That was my first kiss,” I said softly and that was the truth. During the 6 months with my boyfriend, we’d never kissed. We just held hands. And here was Han Geng, who wasn’t even my boyfriend yet, kissing me. But I had to give him credit for it. He’d made my first kiss unforgettable.

“What?” he said, looking a little surprised.

“You’ve stolen my first kiss,” I smiled.

“How old are you?” he asked me.

“16.”

“Same age as me?”

“I’m almost 17. I was born in 1983, in December. So technically, we’re almost the same age.”

“You’re a pig?” he smiled.

“What pig?”

“You’re born on the year of the pig.”

“You’re a rat!” I said and he laughed.

“I can’t believe that this was your first kiss,” he said.

“Why?”

“Cos you’re so beautiful. How did your boyfriend keep his hands off you?”

“Well, cos he’s not a rat.”

“That hurt,” he said as he pouted.

“Sorry,” I smiled. “You’re a good kisser for a rat,” and he grinned at me.

“Is your ankle fine now?” he asked and I was reminded of the dull ache in my ankles.

“No,” I said.

“Come on,” he said as he indicated for me to get back on his back. “Let’s go.”

“What do we do now?” I said as he walked on towards our hostel.

“You need to pick, Sierra,” he said. “Me or him.”

“I need time,” I said as I sighed as I lay my head on his back.

“I’ll wait for you,” he said.

“Thanks,” I replied.

“But don’t make me wait too long,” he added.

“I won’t.”

That night, after Han Geng had bandaged my feet for me and left, I decided to call my boyfriend back home, or soon to be ex-boyfriend. He answered after 3 rings.

“It’s me,” I said.

“Hey,” he replied. He sounded distracted. “What’s up?”

“I’ve met someone,” I said after pausing for a moment. I felt that I needed to get straight to the point. No point beating around the bush when the outcome will ultimately lead to the same thing.

“I thought you would,” he said. “Anyway, so have I.”

“Then I guess we’re even,” I said. His tone was emotionless and cold. It wouldn’t have done me any good to get emotional over this.

“Yea, we are,” was his reply.

“Take care, then,” I said.

“You too,” he said.

“Bye.”

“Bye,” he replied and I hung up.

So he’d found someone even before I’d acknowledged my feelings for Han Geng. I felt a little disappointed, but then again, I was grateful that it ended up a clean break and that I am now free. I picked up my phone again and texted Han Geng.

I’m yours now.

Less than 1 minute later, I received a reply.

And I’m yours… Wo ai ni…

And that was how it all began.

It’s autumn now, more than a year since I’ve arrived in Beijing. Han Geng and I walked to class hand in hand, sharing a thick woolen scarf.

“Where do you want to go this weekend?” Han Geng asked me as he put his arm around me.

“Do you have time, Mr. Principal Dancer,” I teased.

Han Geng had been awarded the principal role in an upcoming dance recital. He was really happy about his achievement and I had been teasing him endlessly about it. While he majored in Chinese folk dance, I’d changed my major from Modern Dance to Choreography at the advice of the dean after receiving reports from my instructors. It seems that I was unable to keep up as well as I'd been expected to and they’d decided I would fare better doing choreography. However, majoring in choreography did not mean that I didn’t need to know how to dance. The only difference was that the focus was now on creating steps instead of merely perfecting them.

“For you, I have all the time in the world,” he smiled.

The past one year had been one of the toughest times I’d ever faced. The classes were physically demanding and mentally exhausting. If it wasn’t for Han Geng, and my girlfriends, Ying Ru, Dou Dou and Chui Yun, I think I would’ve cracked. Their support had helped me get through the initial hardships and right now, I’m pretty much as seasoned as they are.

“Let’s go to the Yi He Yuan this weekend,” I said. Yi He Yuan was the famous Summer Palace in Beijing. It’s has beautiful gardens and architecture, and during autumn, it was the perfect spot to take long walks and to relax. Yi He Yuan is also listed in UNESCO’s World Heritage List.

“What’s at Yi He Yuan?” he whined. “We’ve been there are like twice in one year. Us locals don’t visit such places that often. It’s weird.”

“But I like it there. And it’s autumn; the perfect weather to take walks.”

“Fine,” he sighed and he kissed my forehead.

“I’ll buy you an ice-cream when we get there,” I smiled.

“Make that two,” he said.

“Fine,” I laughed.

As we walked in the school gates, we saw a group of our friends crowding near the dean’s office.

“What’s up guys?” Han Geng asked.

“Omigod!” Jia Xiong exclaimed. “Han Geng! They’ve come for you!”

“What?” Han Geng said, confused. “Who’s come for me?”

“SM Entertainment!” Jia Xiong said.

“Didn’t you participate in that H.O.T. CHINA Audition Casting thing?” Zhi Ming asked.

“I did,” Han Geng said.

“Damn! Out of 3000 people, you’ve been selected. You’re so lucky,” Jia Xiong said.

“Does that mean you’re going to Korea?” I asked him.

“I don’t know,” he said. He looked pale. He must be in shock. I know I would be. To be chosen out of 3000 people was no small matter. SM must have really like Han Geng’s performance.

We went to our classes, since it would not do to miss any of them, or we’d be punished. In the middle of my 3rd class of the day, I heard that the representatives from SM were now having a meeting with Han Geng. We’re they going to take him away now? Would they allow him to continue his training here first and bring him to Korea after he’d graduated? I was unable to focus for the entire day, attending my classes and training and dancing purely from the mechanics drilled into me.

“Sierra,” my instructor stopped me, after the 5th time I’d restarted the same routine. “Where’s your heart today?”

“Dui bu qi,” I said.

“Don’t apologise. You don’t even mean it. Is this about Han Geng and the contract SM’s offering him?”

The instructors and teachers knew everything. They didn’t approve of all the dating and relationships that happened in the academy, but they didn’t outlaw it. We’re teenagers, and they’d just resigned to the fact that there was nothing they could do to control it.

The question was the breaking point for me. The fears I’d been blocking out for the entire day surged through my brain. I just sat down on the floor and started sobbing. After a whole year of leaning on him, was Han Geng going to disappear from my life just like that?